I finished the Harper Hall trilogy. The last book was good, but I wasn't really into it as much as the first two. Sure Piemur was interesting, but not as interesting to me as Menolly. Scott pulled a big copy of The Dragonriders of Pern off the shelf for me. That will be my next literary meal.

Another dragon note, my Dragonsbreath brother is in the hospital for DKA. He's doing much better this morning. I'm glad he went sooner rather than later. Might have been easier for him this time knowing that he has medical coverage now.

It is very cold today. How can I tell you ask? Is it the coolness I feel on my feet under the computer desk? Is it the blinding whiteness outside? Is it the thermometer showing 17 on the kitchen window? No. The cold is heralded by Mr. Orange's body curled directly on top of the one and only heat register in the room! Ah well, at least we're getting great passive solar heating through the south-facing windows.

Every year that we go to Kentucky for Thanksgiving, we expect something that never happens. One meal, at a restaurant, everyone together. No eating one meal with one family then eating the next less than an hour later. It's a shame they don't have a nice place down there like Millrose Restaurant in Barrington.

So what's it going to be this year for Christmas? Will the two local family members trek to our house? Or will it be just another day? The holidays are mega-disappointing now. I guess as Jacob gets older, it might be more fun. Christmas especially has lost its luster. I don't even want to put up a tree this year. Christmas lights outside? Eh. Shopping? Only because I have to. There's no joy in it. It used to be fun before everyone left.

Screw this. I'm going to go read more of Dragonsinger come 5 PM.

Today we went out roaming. First was Red Apple for brunch. Poor Jacob, he didn't fare so well. It is not age-appropriate behavior for a 2 year old to sit quietly coloring during a meal. We did some walking together and finished up eventually. Then we ran to Glen Ellyn but they didn't have what I needed, so off to IKEA we went. After that, we went to Woodfield with the intention of buying iPhones. Didn't happen. They didn't have cheapie refurbs at the Apple store. We went over to the renamed Gamer's Paradise and the Lego store and I ran into Arby's for a bathroom break. They had an orange cream shake that looked tasty, but it just didn't seem worth it to me. So I passed and we went to the kid's area to let Jacob run off some excess energy. Boy did he ever. He held his own this time, though he did fall down about a dozen times, mostly from collisions with other kids.

It's 10 at night and I don't miss that milkshake.

Call me Netgyks the Demon Hunter. My personal email can be a chore to keep up with, especially with all the Yahoo Groups to which I belong. This morning Flylady, Freecycle, the two ICAN groups and a few others got zapped. Seems lately I've been on a clutter reducing rampage. Well, in a way.

Craigslist has helped me rehome 13 dvd shelves that we outgrew, 4 chairs and a table we never used, a desk we bought and didn't like as much as the old one, a mirror that the new DVD shelves displaced, a broken washing machine and a pair of floor lamps that didn't really match the living room. Hooray for cash! Granted, we spent a bit of money on the new, taller DVD shelves. Oh about $350. Was it really that much? How many DVDs could we have bought with that money? LOL I kid. We have room for one more. After that, no more importing until we export. Or convert some more DVDs to slim cases.

Other than that, the only thing going on really is the do we have another kid issue. We're still firmly in the NO camp. Parenting an only child is nice :) I'll let ya know if we ever change our minds. Don't be holding your breath!

Jacob had fun at the Halloween party. We watched one of his playmates the night before and they played quite a bit. Then the other day we went to a playgroup and he played chase with Mikey and Melina. Chase is the favorite game by far! He's saying a lot more words now. "Milk" is still challenging him, but he's getting there. We pointed to a picture of Scott as a preschooler and said who is that? He said Me! That was a first for that word. And it was pretty funny too.

bike ride on a warm day
ice cold water
cat purrs
children laughing
getting a package in the mail
watching a bunny eat in a field
a hot shower
a warm towel waiting after the shower!
shiny kitchen sink
your favorite song on the radio
cake frosting

Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.

This passage has always struck a chord with me. I find it fascinating how many people do not know that they have a task in this lifetime--a purpose, if you will. All my life I have believed that we have a reason for being here, something to learn, then we go on to another life. This belief was with me prior to my exposure to Christianity (I'm talking as a wee little lass I just knew this, there's no other explanation). It conflicted with what I was told I was supposed to believe. I never stopped believing it. There is not but one life to live. There are many. Each lifetime we should strive to fulfill our reason for being.

The petunia could be a soul that needed a little down time if you will, between human lives. Surely he's been dropped before he was ready to move on at some point in time before. Time which as we all know is not linear. I can clearly imagine myself in a future situation. It really helps when I'm anxious. Just go to the point in time after the anxiety has ceased and live in that moment. It's releasing to say the least.

After a lifetime of pondering, I believe I know my purpose. There's a lesson I am still learning.

But hey, don't panic :)

So I bought the DS game Cooking Mama as a little electronic incentive to get my tuckus in the kitchen. Fall weather seems to be far more motivating. Today Lisa came over and cooked a delicious bean soup while she watched Jacob and her kids (videoconference day). The kitchen windows were steamy and the aroma of soup wafted throughout the house. Perfect for a chilly autumn day!

The kitchen is going through a little bit of a transformation. We have a round table in there now and I put a tablecloth on it with a fall centerpiece. I want to go through my cookbooks soon and donate the ones I don't use. The baking goods cabinet needs major purging! And I am going to start going to the RealNutrition meetings each month. We joined a meat co-op. They're going to bring some bones for broth on Saturday. Yummmmm!

We need a deep freeze lol!

A few nights ago I found some Pottery Barn sheers I had been lusting over, discontinued of course, on Long Island NY's Craigslist. The seller was good enough to do a paypal transaction and ship them to me. They came about a half our ago and 3 panels are already up over the picture window. It does decrease the light a bit, more than I expected. I just hope the curtain rod holders don't fall out of the drywall now that I've moved the heavy PB velvet curtains to the outer position. And I hope Jacob doesn't pull them out tugging on the new curtains. He loves playing in curtains!

Today is very overcast. Pictures aren't turning out well. Maybe I'll wait for a sunny day when the living room is a little more tidy.

Preface: This is probably the most soul-bearing thing I've ever blogged.

I'm scared to have another child. Why? Oh so many reasons.

1) I never pictured myself having more than one since I learned palm reading from a supermarket checkout line book I read when I was nine. One little line up high = one kid late in life.

2) What if I don't succeed with breastfeeding a second child?

3) Scared shitless of another c-section. Scar tissue all over my cervix. The tears I shed during that LEEP procedure from pain came back to haunt me. Having a c-section greatly increases the risk of a repeat one too.

4) I work. Could I continue to be productive with another child? One that will obviously star out as a newborn?

5) I'm too fat to be pregnant.

6) I don't even get a period. It's been 27 months since Jacob was born. What if there was a complication from the c-section leading to infertility?

7) What if Jacob hated a sibling? It kills me to see others who aren't close like my brother and I are.

8) We are old.

9) We are weary.

10) What if something goes wrong?

11) Sibling fighting and rivalry.

Yesterday I sent Scott on a lunchtime errand to Fry's for a Kill-a-Watt. It's a device that you plug between the wall and the electricity sucking item you wish to measure. Our old desktop was sucking down about 130-150 kwh. The laptop was around 30-40. Huge difference! There is a pair of tower lights from IKEA in our living room. One has CFL bulbs and one has incandescents. 3 of them, candelabra bulbs. 13 kwh for the CFL and 93 for the old energy sucking ones. We quickly decided to bring in a different light to brighten up the room. I was talking about adding one behind the chair for knitting and crocheting.

Now if I could just get my wrist in better shape. All my mousing and FFXI playing has really aggravated it. It's been hurting for a month or so.

Wow. I guess I really have been using facebook as an impromptu blogging space.

So we've done a lot around the house since last time I blogged. We moved the desk out and today we will probably move it right back in. Yeah, I never do make up my mind! We got a bigger TV. We brought the kotatsu back up because DAMN it is chilly and all 3 of us have a cold. Tom came and visited, wound up in the hospital but still did a ton of work around the house.

Yesterday the washing machine played out in the middle of diapers. Or was it night before? Well anyway, some dude from Oswego had a Kenmore 80 series washer for sale, which was the one I wanted after reading the reviews, and he delivered it. He and his cousin brought it down to the basement for us too. That was a huge help since Scott's feeling pretty crummy with this cold.

I ran out for what felt like an eternity yesterday. In reality, it was only a few hours. Grocery shopping. I was ready for a huge nap after that. Absolutely exhausted. I brought back sliders and Jacob took the 3 or 4 for him, took a few bites, put it back in the bag, then found another one to nibble on. Eh. At least he was eating!

Work finally gave me a computer. I'm thinking of adding another hard drive to it and moving iTunes over there. I don't have enough space on this laptop for iTunes and I really miss listening to stuff! Right now our big computer is slow and it stays on all. the. time. Big energy drain! Scott wants to switch to a laptop anyways. We could sit at the kotatsu tapping away on laptops all day long. Bet Jacob will looooove that.

It's been too long since I blogged. My Facebook status has threatened to replace good old-fashioned blogging lately.

The never-ending struggle of coming to terms with a desk has reared its ugly head again. Just as I was ready to cast off my desktop computer in favor of a second laptop, work threw me a curve ball. A Dell desktop shaped curve ball. What's a girl to do?

I had made peace with losing the two small storage drawers I have in the desk. After all, my grandparents lived for many years without a desk. They kept their mailing supplies in part of their buffet. People don't mail bills anymore, so my mailing supplies are ridiculously minimal. They can easily be stored in a drawer in the kitchen hutch. The rest of the contents of the desk drawers are things I don't need anymore like push pins. We don't have a bulletin board. Magnets and our refrigerator keep things at arm's reach.

I had made peace with losing the two storage baskets that fit in the hutch of the desk. They store things like Simba's inhaler that really should be in the medicine cabinet, headphones that should be in the Expedit storage basket marked "Computer" and knitting supplies that are dumped here instead of in their Expedit storage basket.

I had made peace with moving the books that are stored atop the hutch because really, they belong on the bookshelf. Everything else on the desk is clutter. There are no filing drawers under the desk, so I bought one from IKEA. I haven't even used it, except as a stand for the printer which DESPERATELY needs to be upgraded to a wireless printer and stowed away out of toddler reach.

Right now I'm leaning towards getting a cart that holds the processor, monitor and keyboard to replace the desk. And since it's starting to heat up outdoors, said cart would go to the basement.

What do I want to place here where the desk sits? Another Expedit or shelving of some sort. Seriously, we need space to place our things. I even thought about a great big storage drawer type unit to house our DVDs, but for now putting the baby gate in front of the rather impressive looking wall of DVDs has curbed most of their toddler appeal. Yes, another Expedit would be lovely. I'd like to switch them out to black-brown though hehehe.

Imagine, typing a blog without moving a cat, or four cats, multiple times.

Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.

How did the Belief-O-Matic do? Discuss your results on our message boards.
1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (94%)
3. Neo-Pagan (92%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (84%)
5. New Age (84%)
6. Reform Judaism (81%)
7. Mahayana Buddhism (79%)
8. Secular Humanism (72%)
9. Theravada Buddhism (67%)
10. Jainism (67%)
11. Sikhism (65%)
12. New Thought (62%)
13. Orthodox Quaker (62%)
14. Baha'i Faith (57%)
15. Scientology (55%)
16. Taoism (55%)
17. Hinduism (54%)
18. Orthodox Judaism (49%)
19. Nontheist (46%)
20. Islam (40%)
21. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (39%)
22. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (37%)
23. Seventh Day Adventist (32%)
24. Eastern Orthodox (30%)
25. Roman Catholic (30%)
26. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (23%)
27. Jehovah's Witness (9%)

My not-so-baby baby truly is amazing. We've moved our kitchen table and bench because he's such a climber. Well a chair was sitting next to his high chair. He climbed up into the chair, then into the high chair and sat down. When Scott signed asking him if he was hungry, he signed eat right back at him!

This boy knows what he wants and how to get it :)

Scott and I stayed up really late this morning, I was knitting, he was surfing. Oh how I was looking forward to sleeping in, but congestion + hungry cats = me being awake lol. Simba and Andromeda were all over me wanting canned food. Ya know I really need to move them over to a raw diet.

Anyway, I finished Mom's Xmas present. It's okay to post it here cause she doesn't read my blog. I'm going to mail it to her tonight if the post office doesn't have their drop box locked. Silly Carol Stream processing facility! Emily from work and I both got our new ravelry accounts yesterday, so I posted the finished work in my projects area. Here's a pic from my flickr account:

We just rang in the New Year with a peacefully sleeping baby, a clean and shiny kitchen sink (Flylady thing) with Scott listening to the fireworks outside and me trying to knit for Jacob, but in reality being covered in cats, mostly Simba and Sushi lol!

60 degrees in December. After a month of 20 degree and even below zero weather. So of course the foot of snow is melting off. I guess the sump pump in the basement window well was having issues, I woke up a second time and got Scott up so he could check on the hole as we call it. When I got up to use the bathroom and check the basement, he was bailing buckets by hand, then the pump finally kicked in. Well it does get frozen being outside and all. Still, there was water from the window well. I used the steam cleaner to suck it up, having to stop ever 45 seconds to empty the water collection container. Joy. At least it's not a work day. And it hasn't woken Jacob up. His slide did get wet, but it's some pretty sturdy wood. Better get downstairs and turn it on its side so it can dry.

I'd rather be playing FFXI. Spook helped Tom and me get our items to undo the level 50 limit. Woohoo! And it was a full moon yesterday so I crafted and got leathercrafting up to 9. Now I can make the Trader series of clothcrafting. 11 more leathercrafting levels and I can make the Noct series. Or I can just buy the darned ingredients instead. We'll see

We had a nice Christmas dinner, Gail came by and we puttered around the kitchen, ate, drank, made merriment, opened presents, took pictures and watched Jacob be Jacob. After she left we all took a nap and Jeff & Michelle called, they were on the doorstep ringing the bell and we were snoozin lol. We got up and exchanged presents with them too, Jacob made a royal mess of himself with some egg shaped felt tip marker type things afterward. We washed him up and went to bed, but he didn't fall asleep until midnight! He had quite an exciting day and didn't go to sleep in his Christmas pajamas, but Scott and I surely did, we were tired! Too bad we have to work today.

Well the family for the Simba-clone and for Tiny came to get them, the dad of the woman picked Tiny up, he seemed really sweet. He said he was a dog person, I told him to be prepared for a conversion :) She is such a loving little girl! And of course so is the Simba-clone. Later tonight a woman came by, first time cat owner, and took Toph and Smokey. We gave her a quick tutorial, it was so funny, she said, so do they go to sleep on their own. I was thinking nooooo, you need to rock them and walk them to sleep LOL! She said do they know that nighttime is sleeping time. Scott and I snickered and filled her in on cat-kind. She was really sweet though and her kids are going to love the kittens, that's all her 6 year old asked Santa to bring her for Christmas.

Tomorrow Aunt Gail is coming by for Christmas dinner, we did some last minute shopping after work and before the woman came for the kittens tonight. It was a madhouse, then everything closed at 6 except Walgreen's and holy toledo, that parking lot was packed, people were crawling in lines trying to drive around, honking everywhere! I bet they make more money after hours on Christmas Eve than they normally make in a week! Phew it was nuts!

We've been adopting out the 9 kittens we brought back from Kentucky after Thanksgiving. A man and someone he is giving a kitten to for her birthday (I'm assuming his wife) will be here shortly to pick one out, if we approve them. There are cute, cuddly kittens everywhere! The shyest one, Joxer, might take awhile to place.

Yeah and we came back from KY with a little something extra, a really nasty cold. I've been losing my voice, Tom too. Jacob is congested and coughing, Scott is coughing worse than me. And we have house guests coming in 6 days. The snowfall this morning makes me want to put up Christmas decorations, but other than this new feeling, I've been pretty much Xmas Blah.

Jacob's cold is affecting his sleep pattern. Scott's walking him right now cause I can't keep him still long enough to nurse to sleep, even when it's obvious that he is exhausted! Poor little tyke :(